I know this blogpost was due AAAGES ago, but today I wanted to spend a little bit more time to explain to you my New Year's Resolutions for 2016. There is always a few people that do this each year, and usually I find those posts a little bit cliche and unnecessary. I find resolutions in general cliche and - most of the time - unnecessary. But this year, there are a few posts, this one in particular, that got me into thinking about how I - if I were to make up New Year's Resolutions this year - would want to change. What I found amazed me.
I have always been the kind of person that procrastinates massively and leaves everything until the last moment. Which gives me tons of stress. And whilst I know it's not good for me, I keep doing it. Evaluating myself, my reactions and the influences of my actions on my wellbeing is something I don't do too often. But when I do do it, I realise that there is so much I can change myself that will effect my general happiness. I wanted to share with you a few of the things that I suspect will make a positive change on my everyday life. By sharing these, I don't mean to inspire you to make yourself a better person by writing down a list of things you want to change, but I do hope to encourage you to evaluate yourself and your life in a way that only can be done once a year, at New Year's.
Grow my hair healthily
This might not seem like a very dramatic 'become a better person'-change, but for me, it is a very important one. As a kid, I never really liked my hair. It was incredibly thick, frizzy and curly, and no matter how hard I tried, I could never get it to do exactly what I wanted it to. I always threw it up in a ponytail, or a bun, and never properly took care of it. I grew to hate my hair for its thickness, and was always looking for ways to make it look a little bit more sleek or straight - this was before I even knew straighteners existed. Until not so long ago - maybe a year or so - I almost never wore my hair down. I also rarely brushed it, which wasn't really a problem since I always wore it up and so there weren't as many knots in it. All these years of ponytails and not brushing it and not really caring about my hair, have caused my hair to become horribly unhealthy. My hair isn't very long, but most ends are split and incredibly dry. Until two weeks ago, that is. I realised that I had to change something if I didn't want to walk around with a head full of straw for the rest of my life, so I asked my mum to cut off the ends - yes, she can do that - and 'started over'. I'm now trying to stay away from ponytails and buns as much as I can, brush it every night before I go to sleep, I wash it once or twice a week with shampoo and conditioner, I stay away from hot tools etcetera etcetera. I'd love to have longer hair, but not if all its ends are split. So that's how I want to change hair-wise.
Be kind
Here we go, the real cheesy ones. Nevertheless, I do want to try to maintain most of them - all of them, if I feel brave. I feel like this one is something we should all pursue. We might not be able to change the world by doing so, but we will be able to change our own environment. When I'm extremely grumpy - which doesn't happen often, but yet - I can forget about other people's feelings and say things I shouldn't. This mainly happens with my parents, who can dramatise certain situations, and it usually results in them being angry with me, and me being angry with them but not being able to express my anger and thus retreating to my room and potentially crying my eyes out. Oh happy life, I know. Therefore, I want myself to think about what I say, and consider more gentle ways to bring the same information. Also, I think that it won't hurt anyone if I think more about others. Not that I'm extremely selfish, but a little more might not be such a bad idea.
Be angry
I'm very aware that this might sound weird, but there a reason for this odd resolution. Spoiler: it's another sad childhood story, so if you're not up for it, please skip to the next one. Growing up, I've always looked up to my parents. I have no siblings, so they were pretty much the only sort of rolemodel I had. Besides that, I have never liked it when people get angry with me. It gives me the chills and makes me feel terrible. Combine this with angry rolemodels - aka parents - and you have a very, very sad me. I tried my best to keep my parents from getting annoyed with me, and there's one conclusion I drew that might well have formed a big part of my personality. Here it is: if people shout at me, and I shout back, they'll shout louder. In other words, if my parents get angry with me and I return the favour, they'll get even more angry. Which, if you're a little bit like me, is the opposite of what you want. So I kept it in. For years, I'd stay cool whenever my parents would get angry with me. Because I knew that if I didn't, it'd get worse, and I really didn't want it to. I would politely say 'Yes mum, sorry mum,' go to my room and then release my feelings. Without making any sound, of course, because then they'd know. Silent crying became my specialty. It's a habit I've never really gotten round to unlearn. I still hate it when people get angry with me, and I still try to soothe them as much as possible instead of standing up to them. So therefore, in 2016, I want to express my anger more. I want to express my anger whilst reminding myself that whatever makes them so angry, is their problem, and not necessarily mine.
Be more helpful towards others
Lately, I've realised that most of time when my mum gets angry with me, it's about me NOT doing something. And more often than not, I could have prevented a miserable day by helping out a little bit more. Or at least letting her know that I am at her service, for anything she wants me to help out with. The last few days, I've tried to be more helpful, and I've realised that in doing that, my mood improves also. I actually feel like I'm doing something useful with my day and, though starting the task might be a little like starting to climb a huge mountain, I feel happy and relieved when I'm done. So basically, both sides will be happy with this one.
Always give people the benefit of the doubt
I think this one is pretty self explanatory. I want to give everyone a chance without being naive.
The following three are a little bit alike, but I did want to put them in separately, because each of them kind of has a different explanation.
Just say yes
This one is about no longer turning things down when I feel like they might make me uncomfortable or insecure. I want to say yes more, because I think that, should I do so, I will have more adventure in my life and step out of my comfort zone more.
Try new things
This one is not so much about saying yes to things - which it still could be - but also about going out and finding new things to try, if that makes sense. Not only grabbing every opportunity that is thrown my way with both hands, but also hunting for those opportunities myself.
Stop being so scared of everything new
Again, the word new, and I think this one pretty much sums up the two resolutions above. However, it adds the fact that right now, I am actually properly scared of new things and too shy to try them out. I need to frickin stop that because it's driving me craaaazyyy.
Stay true to yourself
This one is pretty important to me. As I grow older, as do my friends, and I see some of my friends end up in places I wished they wouldn't be. Smoking, drinking, weed, those things. They themselves - no names here - are convinced they are just 'experimenting' and they 'won't go too far', but what they don't see, and I do, is that they might have already gone too far. That scares me, because we used to talk about how we would never be like that. We would talk about how disgusting smoking was, how trippy drugs were, and how bad underage drinking was for your health. Don't even get me started on addictions. We would always say how we'd never be 'peer-pressured' into that business, and it's scary to see how they now are exactly where they'd never be, derailed and disarmed. For me, it's still the same. Never. No way. I'm lucky that most of my friends think slightly along that line as well, and so this year, that is the one thing I don't want to change a thing about. And, just to clearify matters, 'trying new things' - as explained above - for me, does not include smoking, drinking or drugs.
Always take lip balm and handkerchiefs wherever you go
Two things I need most. This is a matter of convenience, guys. Try it.
So, those are roughly the terms I start 2016 on, and I really hope future-Rosaly will do me proud, because right now, these things are really important to me.
Concerning this blog, I also have a few things I'd like to say:
First and foremost, thank you all for reading my posts for the past year, I know they weren't that good at times, but I'm still in the process of learning to slam this keyboard and make something worth reading out of it, and I'm afraid that goes by trial and error. I do want to try to post only that content I think you will like, but I can't promise anything.
Second, I would like to say that I am going to try - TRY. T. R. Y. - to post a little bit more regularly. Again, I'm not promising anything, mainly because I'm horrible with planning things, but I do really want to prove to myself and to you that I am able to put some kind of discipline in my life and this blog.
Thank you, again, for your continuing support and lovely comments in 2015. I hope we can keep it up in 2016.
Do you have any New Year's Resolutions?
Love,
Rosaly
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